I completely f*cked up

My #SecretConfessed:
I was in a relationship with a girl more than 7 years. From school days I loved her truly and she broke up with me for no reason when I was in final year of Engineering and it has been more than 1 year ago.

I cried a lot as because she tried to end my life. I got anger with her why she left me... And after some time hardly tried to move on but still I can't do it at the time of breakup because she was my first love. I tried to contact her several times but she avoids me completely. And I don't know what the f*ck is going on her life after some time...

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As she was first love I loved her more than anything in this world. I got addicted to drugs alcohol because I was addicted to her. And I spoiled my life... And after months finally decided to give up on her and now l got to know that she doesn't deserve me.
But I do not know what to do with my life and completely f*cked up...

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