Being responsible for ex's alcohol addiction?

My #SecretConfessed,
26 M here. I am in relationship with a girl forĀ 5 years. We have been doing pretty fine. She is muslim and i am hindu and we are soon asking her parents about marriage, there's no objection from my parents.

She told about her past recently, which is quite late. They had break up cause that time she thought they won't have any future together and she left him. So moving on, everything is going fine.

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Suddenly she is feeling guilty about that. She says "i left him cause he had different religion but now am with you, even though we are from different religions".
According to her it's been around 7 years they had broke up but he still hasn't moved on.
And still loves her. And started drinking and smoking excessively after their break up.

Now it bothers me alot. On the top of that, the guy is their family friend and often visits to their house.

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bazigar 1 year ago

You know the word lie, it's there in your relationship. Hidden somewhere now pops up saying hi to you on your face.simple answer is she is not the deserving one for you. You only ruin your life for someone else sake, is there any guarantee that after her ex drop alcoholism nature, she remains same as she is now. No absolutely not, they once had a love affair and he is her first love, open your eyes and. Meri Maan chod de khus rhega, uski immature hrktn se sab clear kr dia, yhn koi samaj sewa nhi chal rahi h or usse zayada fikr usko parents bhai relative, dost krte honge uski or wo kya koi Dr h ya physiotherapist (nhi na) kya Harry potter wali stick h uske pas ya kuch magical, ho to btana bhai puch k bht se logo ki chudwa denge, km se km sbka acha ho. Smaj sewa krni h to ache se kro ye tuchu muchu se koi guilt wuilt ka lena Dena nhi h or agar itni hi fikr thi to 7 years dude 7 years m tujse is matter p bat krti itna aage (marriage) aane k bad kaise, pagal h kya wo, I guess usko or uske ex dono ko physiotherapist ki zrurt Hai. Ye wo devdas wali modern zamane ki paro h jo devdas (uska ex) or current (you) dono ko kangal or barbad kr degi. Baki teri marzi. Agar uski life m tu rha to tuje pta h end kaisa hoga (agar wo maximum 15 days m nhi sudhrti h to) or agar uski life m whi ex ya koi or Ata h to uska na Sara ka sara bhoot apne aap utr jyga, smjh ra h na yar, cheers and dimag se sochna h ab, dil ka matter shadi ki thought tk hta h or wo dil kr chuka ab dimag ko apna Kam krne de. Good luck

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Anon 1 year ago

Most practical answer bro...thank you for replying

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Mango 1 year ago

One word answer " leave her"

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Jolly 1 year ago

Allow her for sometime say six months if you think he is recovering coz of her, leave her.. let them be happy. If we can be the reason for someone's happiness, let's sacrifice it

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Anon 1 year ago

Thank you for your advice I believe I was being bit possessive or selfish may be , I guess giving her time and space would be a good option. Currently we are living normally and not discussing anything about it. Hoping to get everything alright.

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Robin 1 year ago

May be she is little emotional and she is worrying about that guy because he has been pestering her. Or it could be just that she is feeling guilty because the guy turn to alcohol. I guess it is not her fault that he turned to alcohol. I am really not sure if you can change her attitude about this. What I feel is an option is to give her some time and also continue your love and care towards her without any break. If the person feels loved and cared for may be she will understand. Now coming to this guy who drinks, there are ways to stop drinking. I am not sure if she is needed to stop him drinking. Take ur call. I don't think it is a good idea to leave her just because she is feeling guilty. It may be an emotional outburst as that guy keeps visiting her home. I believe providing her love, care and respect will be a better option. Your call on this.

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Anon 1 year ago

Thank you friend for you words giving her care , love and respect is what I have choosen to do now.

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Amit 1 year ago

She is doing darama only to get rid of you. If she really cared about that guy she would not leave him ever in any situations.

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