I am not a virgin anymore

My #SecretConfessed:
I was in a relationship with a guy for about 3 years. We were happy at the beginning. But soon he started abusing me for the silliest of things. Verbal abuse to physical abuse. Soon learnt that he could be having hereditary bipolar disorder. So I decided to stick with him with the hope that he will change one day. But no, I was wrong.

Things went really out of hand once I got a job. One day when we went out, he hit me right on my stomach while I was having my periods. That was it, I decided to end everythg. But I couldn't because he begged me not to leave me. But the truth is that in between all these abuses I loved him. Next time we went out he hit me in front of my friends. That was my limit. I ended everything. He tried to convince me a lot. But I didn't go back. I was so depressed at these times. Just to forget him I got committed to a colleague of mine.

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I knew perfectly that I didnt love him at all and that I still loved my now ex. Yes I still love him. I dont know what to do. I dont love him and I dont want to hurt him because he already has a terrible past. I want my ex boyfriend back.. he is my life.. he is a part of my soul.. i am filled with regret.. because I had physical relation with the current boyfriend which is the one thing I am confessing. Please dont call me a slut or whore. Pls. I just dont know what to do.

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Aman 1 year ago

Kaisa pyar kaisi feelings......the person who doesn't respect you doesn't deserve to be in your life. Understand this.....every girl has a respect which boys need to understand. Stop being guilty. Be with the one u r with right now. God bless you

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AE 1 year ago

Virginity is not what defines u. So be happy...don't feel guilty..u will be lucky to get a good person in future

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Dev 1 year ago

In my opinion, you shouldn't go back to your ex. I know you still love him but think with retrospect, you deserve to be happy and with what have you told about your ex, it seems impossible. Moreover he doesn't deserve you. Give yourself some time, convience yourself that you deserve happiness. And as far as the current guy is concerned, you haven't mentioned if he is aware of this dilemma of yours or not. Tell him what you are going through, if he still wants to be with you give him a chance, you'll grow respect for him and eventually may end up loving him. Take a chance, don't look back.

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Anonymous 1 year ago

Don't think of looking back and feeling bad for your ex. He is an anchor. All he will do is pull you down to a level that you start blaming yourself that everything is your fault and it's ok for him to beat you. I speak out of experience wherein I broke my engagement cos he not just kept abusing me but also cheated on me with another woman. He cried and got me back and I trusted him and loved him with all my heart, yet he betrayed me. So don't be in an illusion that he may change. Be it a guy or a lady there are good ones and bad ones. It's not the end of the world. It's better you move on or stay single but don't go back to that guy. You're honest and you deserve only the best.

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Your well wisher 1 year ago

See girl, you are a person with feelings. You sound like an honest person too. If you really are confident enough that the old guy will not hurt you, go back. But if you have slightest of any doubt, stay away. You will eventually move on. Nothing is permanent. Good luck.

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Abhiroop 1 year ago

1.Look in the mirror and question urself on what you want..abuse in the name of love (in case of ur ex) 2. I am guy and I know how it feels when a girl leaves us or cheats on us. But trust me it doesnt matter after a few months. But then dont hurt someone just because you felt hurt. Dont go back to your ex. He might kill you someday unknowingly but dont drag ur present. He might kill himself. That guilt would be far more than the guilt you are suffering from now. And trust me i will not call or judge you as a s*** or a w****. Stay blessed. Abhiroop.bhadra@yahoo.in

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Anonymous 1 year ago

Sweetheart this is a tough phase, your physical relationship is the probable outcome of the instability of the thoughts in your mind. Try to get to the basics of maturity, spend time with your elders, if wanted try rehab, put your mind at peace and you yourself would figure out best solution for you.

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ABC 1 year ago

The silly thing about your aspect is you made physical relations and confessing that its not love....and you then saying to not call you a slut.....then please explain on which those physical relation are based upon?? Its not love then it could be for pleasure only! Then what to call someone who do for pleasure???

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sharp 2 years ago

I don't know how u had physical relationship without love.u know u r not in love with ur current bf.real women won't give herself without love.k be with ur current bf that's better.Bcoz u gave everything. And again don't get abused by ur ex

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love guru 2 years ago

Truly understood ur dilemma, give urself some months to think as time is ur best friend to guide u now. U can't keep jumping from one boy to the other. If u really love ur ex tell him to control his anger and physical abuses on u, there is nothing impossible he can control with practice. Just stay alone for sometime to figure things out.

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