I wish I could turn back time
My Dad died nearly 3 years ago and I still get feelings of heartbreak and loneliness.
When anything ever goes “wrong” in my life I think of him and want a big hug from him. He would always tell me to stop being silly or he would tell me everything would be okay. I often think that I should call him to tell him something before reality kicks in and I realise he is no longer there. I wish I could turn back time. I feel so helpless. I blame myself sometimes for not being there to save him.
A friend’s dad now has terminal cancer and my feeling of helplessness has grown stronger. I don’t want him to hurt the way that I do and there is nothing I can do to prepare him for the pain that he will be going through.
I feel like people are bored of listening to me talk about him, or that they will think of me as weak for still getting upset after all this time.