It has started with my mom's death

My #SecretConfessed:
I am 18 years old. I had a male friend when i was in 7th standard. I used to enjoy his company. But then next year i lost my mom... I was so devastated that i stopped talking to my friends.

Next year i got some good friends. I was so happy with them. But after 10th we all got separated and i became alone. I was alone at home and in school and in coaching.
I started to think of talking to him. But i couldnt. I used to cry all the time. I did not speak to my family. I was always angry and weeping. My classmates started asking me if i was fine. But i was not.

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Eventually i told him that i could not live anymore this way. He said that he would help me in getting out of this. But he asked me to promise him that i would not cut myself because of my depression.
Ever since he said that, i started cutting myself on the wrists. I feel relaxed when i see blood.

Now i can't seem to get over this addiction. Any suggestions?

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