No, I'm not lusty!

I dont knw how it hapnd but my mind couldn't kip pace with watevr was hapning... It was sooo sudden n quick!
I cried when ths bitter realisation stuckd me. I apologized to her but she seemed absolutely calm n chilled which made go crzy n more cnfused. She rather hugged me back n told that its okkk, happens n she proposed me... trust me... Her hug was too warm n i felt sooo safe, undr dat circumstance i could say her yes or no...

Bt i wasnt in love. I dnt knw, bt i jst felt hapy around her. I wished if she were my wife, her kiss hug n evrything whatevr she did was too different. I nvr experienced such pleasure before. N i couldnt get ovr them...
But i felt victim, entrapped n guilty. Bt then i cant let go of her at the same time...

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Since the momnt i touched her i considr her as my responsibility n now i simply cant deny her. I m ready to stay by her side though bt i cant leave my famly n marry her, settle with her. I even told her this n she never expcts me to give my wife divorce or leave my famly, she is quite happy n just asks my compny n love.

Its been a long time bt still i didnt feel that kinda love for her which i felt for my wife. I cant tell all this to anyyone. I know people wll judge me, call me by badname, bt no other girl ovr the years could attract me till this extnt as her. She must be havng somethng too special... Her love n ways feel soo pure n unconditional, i couldnt afford to lose..! I just wanna give her a betr future n help her in all possible ways, i wont be boundng her or curb her freedoms n choice to go for someone bettr but from my own part, i cant leave her coz i know if i do, she gonna feel too heartbroken. N I smply cant run away!!

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